The Journey of Forgiveness
By Peter
James Field
This article was kindly authorized to be uploaded to
my blog by Peter Field, Fellow of the
Royal Society of Health, a British psychotherapist and hypnotherapist in Birmingham
Reaching farther back, do issues from childhood still
worry and also cause you harm?
There is a approach to lighten up your load, reclaim
your life and have things back on track. That way is forgiveness. Working
through a procedure that leads to forgiveness is a potent antidote to emotional
pain. Releasing damaging emotions as well as arriving at that place where
forgiveness is possible is often the ultimate way to move forward with your
life.
For those who have been hurt by someone else, you
might pause to ask, 'Could forgiving
someone end up being self-defeating -- even harmful? What if I forgive and then
find this person returning to hurt me once again?'
Understand that it is possible to implement measures
for self-protection and still work towards forgiveness. You can decide to look
for suitable safeguard in the event that someone is stalking you, for instance.
Or, you can move away from the person who is interfering with your life.
Forgiveness does not mean foolishness.
It might have been a costly lesson, but the learning is yours now.
Through learning how to forgive, we take back whatever
strength we might previously have lost. If it's suitable to tell the other
person that we choose to forgive them, this could diffuse tension too. Once
verbalize our forgiveness, it can relieve tension, bringing with it a calmness
that had previously been denied. Alternatively, we may choose to forgive and
not tell the person who has offended us, and this is fine, too.
Perhaps we could see forgiveness as a boundary,
something which restricts negative energy from actively poisoning our personal
space. When we forgive, we're proactively saying, 'I release my self as well as
my emotions from your grip. I'll not hate you. I will not let that negative
energy to affect my life.'
First and
foremost, remember that forgiveness is for you - not for the person you need to
forgive - something that frees you from the
crippling emotional weight of the past and its damages. In forgiving you
undoubtedly can find the internal harmony that you deserve.
The process of forgiving, of shifting from anxiety and
harm to a much more tranquil, balanced internal state, requires us to consider
what exactly took place. The person or people who have harmed us had reason for
what they did, regardless of whether they or we recognize those reasons. Most
likely they too, in their very own way, happen to be the victim of others, hurt
or damaged by their very own particular past. While there may be missing parts
and pieces in the puzzle, it is we, and not they, who decide the way we choose
to respond to what has took place.
Through this process we may reach a more profound
understanding: though we've been treated unfairly or even unkindly, it is now
in the past. And it is there that it needs to remain if we are to move forward
with our life in a more balanced, and much freer manner.
Arriving at the place where forgiveness is possible
cannot be accomplished overnight. It can take time to process the pain.
Therapy, support groups, or self-help tools can all be profoundly valuable.
It's perfectly acceptable to fully realize the true impact of what the person
or people did. Anything less is not honoring ourself. It's healthy to get all
of it out in the open.
Taking the high road is always the mature, benevolent
and wise thing to do. Yet, proactively deciding to forgive is not the same as
ignoring the truth. To forgive does not necessarily mean that we forget. The
goal of forgiveness is to release yourself from the anger, the harm and the
hate, not to deny what happened.
If you are hurting and filled with anger, perhaps
forgiveness really is the key that can unlock those shackles that are keeping
you in pain. Finding your own way to forgive may not be straight forward, but
it is one of the most liberating things you can possibly do. Maybe now is the
moment to move on from the past and forgive. Your life awaits you and there is
no real need to delay. Begin your journey of forgiveness right now and move
ahead a wiser, more balanced person.
This really is your life
,
,
isn't it high time you reclaimed
and started to really live it?
